Not rated, 90 minutes
"Human Centipede's" shock value wears thin
I had the opportunity to see the horror film "The Human Centipede (First Sequence)" recently during it's extended run in Dallas. I had heard much about the shocking nature of the film and it's true that some parts of it are genuinely disturbing and very difficult to watch. However, once the shock value wears off, it only reveals that there wasn't much to the film to begin with.
During a stopover in Germany in the middle of a carefree road trip through Europe, two American girls (Ashlynn Yennie and Ashley Williams, in their film debut) find themselves alone at night when their car breaks down in the woods. Searching for help they find only an isolated villa, whose mysterious owner, Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser), takes them in for the night. The next day they awake to find themselves in the basement, trapped in a terrifying makeshift hospital with another one of the doctor's abductees (Akihiro Kitamura). Dr Heiter explains to his three "patients" they are not about to be separated, but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first to connect people, one to the next, via their gastric system, and in doing so bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy: "the human centipede."
"The Human Centipede," directed by Dutch director Tom Six and filmed in the Netherlands, is a film that's all about the shock value and little else. The unsettling premise may remind of what horror film directors like David Cronenberg or Eli Roth would do, but it also may make some ill (especially in one scene involving defecation). It especially grows tiresome as the film goes on, with very little to do with the human centipede after it has been created except walk it around and beat on it. As the demented German doctor, Laser is the best actor in the film, though the two actresses are considerably whiny and annoying.
It's also no mistake that the horrific doctor is German; he's obviously making a statement regarding Nazi atrocities and it becomes a little heavy-handed in the film's last section, which becomes more of a crime mystery than a horror film. "The Human Centipede" has gained a cult following in the festival circuit, and it could continue as it gains more word-of-mouth; with this in mind Six is also supposedly working on a sequel to the film.
"The Human Centipede" carries some disturbing images but just know it isn't an altogether pleasant movie-going experience. Some horror film enthusiasts may want to take a gander to see what it's all about, but it's a disappointment considering the hype for the film.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Killers - D
Rated PG-13 for violent action, sexual material and language, 100 minutes
No secret here: Awful "Killers" is DOA
Lionsgate, the studio behind the new action comedy "Killers" starring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher, is trying a new "marketing strategy" by not screening the film in advance for critics. This has worked well for Lionsgate with the "Saw" and Tyler Perry films, but those films have a niche audience who disregard what critics say. Don't believe the studio's strategy, "Killers" is a lousy, woefully unfunny movie and one of the worst romantic comedies to be released in 2010.
While on vacation with her parents (Tom Selleck and Catherine O' Hara), Jennifer Kornfeldt (Heigl), a beautiful young blonde who's just been dumped, meets Spencer Aimes (Kutcher), a good looking single man. The two begin to fall in love, but she doesn't know Spencer actually works for the CIA and in between the times they spend together chases and kills criminals. Spencer quits his job and they continue their relationship back home and rush into a quick marriage. They are happy together, but after three years people show up trying to kill Spencer, because of a huge reward that has been promised and Jennifer must help Spencer kill his enemies.
Now it's easy to see why Lionsgate didn't screen "Killers" in advance: it's a terrible, sloppy and laughfree movie with the most contrived plot seen in some time. Robert Luketic, who directed Heigl in last year's equally awful "The Ugly Truth," does nothing to generate any chemistry between Heigl, at her most annoyingly self-aware and shrill, and Kutcher, at his most bland. This tries to be "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," but news flash: Heigl and Kutcher aren't Jolie and Pitt.
It's been a long time since I've sit through a comedy and you could hear a pin drop in the theater with the lack of any laughter, chuckles or even murmurs. You'd think with someone like O'Hara chewing up the scenery it'd generate a few smiles, but she along with Selleck are wasted as the drunk mom and gruff dad. The fact that I didn't buy a single minute of this makes it all the more painful to sit through.
The only good thing "Killers" will do is make Heigl second guess leaving a good gig like TV's "Grey's Anatomy." (Note to Heigl: BIG mistake.) She and the handsome Kutcher, with zilcho chemistry, come across as flat and vastly overrated. A big disappointment and likely the first big flop of the summer.
No secret here: Awful "Killers" is DOA
Lionsgate, the studio behind the new action comedy "Killers" starring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher, is trying a new "marketing strategy" by not screening the film in advance for critics. This has worked well for Lionsgate with the "Saw" and Tyler Perry films, but those films have a niche audience who disregard what critics say. Don't believe the studio's strategy, "Killers" is a lousy, woefully unfunny movie and one of the worst romantic comedies to be released in 2010.
While on vacation with her parents (Tom Selleck and Catherine O' Hara), Jennifer Kornfeldt (Heigl), a beautiful young blonde who's just been dumped, meets Spencer Aimes (Kutcher), a good looking single man. The two begin to fall in love, but she doesn't know Spencer actually works for the CIA and in between the times they spend together chases and kills criminals. Spencer quits his job and they continue their relationship back home and rush into a quick marriage. They are happy together, but after three years people show up trying to kill Spencer, because of a huge reward that has been promised and Jennifer must help Spencer kill his enemies.
Now it's easy to see why Lionsgate didn't screen "Killers" in advance: it's a terrible, sloppy and laughfree movie with the most contrived plot seen in some time. Robert Luketic, who directed Heigl in last year's equally awful "The Ugly Truth," does nothing to generate any chemistry between Heigl, at her most annoyingly self-aware and shrill, and Kutcher, at his most bland. This tries to be "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," but news flash: Heigl and Kutcher aren't Jolie and Pitt.
It's been a long time since I've sit through a comedy and you could hear a pin drop in the theater with the lack of any laughter, chuckles or even murmurs. You'd think with someone like O'Hara chewing up the scenery it'd generate a few smiles, but she along with Selleck are wasted as the drunk mom and gruff dad. The fact that I didn't buy a single minute of this makes it all the more painful to sit through.
The only good thing "Killers" will do is make Heigl second guess leaving a good gig like TV's "Grey's Anatomy." (Note to Heigl: BIG mistake.) She and the handsome Kutcher, with zilcho chemistry, come across as flat and vastly overrated. A big disappointment and likely the first big flop of the summer.
Survival of the Dead - C-
Rated R for strong zombie violence/gore, language and brief sexuality, 86 minutes
Romero's "Survival of the Dead" redundant
George A. Romero single-handedly invented the zombie horror genre with "Night of the Living Dead" in 1968. He's been through several reiventions of the genre over the last 40 years, and he's still riding the current wave of zombie popularity with the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" a few years ago. Romero's latest entry, "Survival of the Dead," will no doubt please his loyal fanbase, but it's his weakest film. Badly acted, it also seems redundant and even a little boring by now, though it's always fun seeing those zombies get blown to bits.
"Survival" takes place in a desperate, nightmarish world where the dead walk the earth, relentlessly attacking the living. It is the story of Plum Island - a beautiful refuge whose isolation allows two powerful families to maintain a semblance of order in the wake of the zombie apocalypse. But as the inhabitants slowly die off, the two clans become sharply divided: The O'Flynns believe that the undead must be destroyed without exception, while the Muldoons insist that afflicted loved ones be kept "alive" until a cure is found. Into this situation wander a small group of National Guard soldiers who, after robbing the protagonists in "Diary of the Dead," have decided to strike out on their own in an effort to survive.
"Survival of the Dead" isn't Romero's best effort, a half-hearted, sloppy and unscary effort at high-camp and zombie soap opera that borders on the ridiculous, even for something like this. Romero and his zombies are the real star instead of the no-name actors that are mostly wasted in the film. "Survival's" super low-budget only reveals that most of it was spent on the makeup and gun props. But the zombies seem to be better actors than the real humans. The climax is fun when zombies come out en masse, but you have to suffer through an otherwise banal story to get there.
Sure, Romero's zombie movies shouldn't be taken that seriously, particularly for their production elements and acting, but it shouldn't rob the audience of having fun, which "Survival" does from start to finish. For real zombie action, watch some of Romero's better, earlier efforts, including "Night of the Living Dead" and the 1970's version of "Dawn of the Dead." For Romero fans only.
Romero's "Survival of the Dead" redundant
George A. Romero single-handedly invented the zombie horror genre with "Night of the Living Dead" in 1968. He's been through several reiventions of the genre over the last 40 years, and he's still riding the current wave of zombie popularity with the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" a few years ago. Romero's latest entry, "Survival of the Dead," will no doubt please his loyal fanbase, but it's his weakest film. Badly acted, it also seems redundant and even a little boring by now, though it's always fun seeing those zombies get blown to bits.
"Survival" takes place in a desperate, nightmarish world where the dead walk the earth, relentlessly attacking the living. It is the story of Plum Island - a beautiful refuge whose isolation allows two powerful families to maintain a semblance of order in the wake of the zombie apocalypse. But as the inhabitants slowly die off, the two clans become sharply divided: The O'Flynns believe that the undead must be destroyed without exception, while the Muldoons insist that afflicted loved ones be kept "alive" until a cure is found. Into this situation wander a small group of National Guard soldiers who, after robbing the protagonists in "Diary of the Dead," have decided to strike out on their own in an effort to survive.
"Survival of the Dead" isn't Romero's best effort, a half-hearted, sloppy and unscary effort at high-camp and zombie soap opera that borders on the ridiculous, even for something like this. Romero and his zombies are the real star instead of the no-name actors that are mostly wasted in the film. "Survival's" super low-budget only reveals that most of it was spent on the makeup and gun props. But the zombies seem to be better actors than the real humans. The climax is fun when zombies come out en masse, but you have to suffer through an otherwise banal story to get there.
Sure, Romero's zombie movies shouldn't be taken that seriously, particularly for their production elements and acting, but it shouldn't rob the audience of having fun, which "Survival" does from start to finish. For real zombie action, watch some of Romero's better, earlier efforts, including "Night of the Living Dead" and the 1970's version of "Dawn of the Dead." For Romero fans only.
Solitary Man - B+
Rated R for language and some sexual content, 90 minutes
"Solitary Man" an absorbing character-driven drama
If you ever wonder why nice guys often finish last, see the new Michael Douglas film "Solitary Man." His character is one of the most unsympathetic and thoroughly unlikable characters seen on screen in sometime, but Douglas, in one of his best performances in years, infuses the character with an indelible charm that'll have you both hating and loving the guy.
Douglas is Ben Kalmen, a self-absorbed, once-successful and wealthy New York City car magnate who's life has hit the skids due to his shady business dealings and his romantic indiscretions. He's dishonest, unfaithful and hard up for cash. He left his faithful, loving wife Nancy (Susan Sarandon), who's now a successful real estate agent, and he's rarely around for his daughter (Jenna Fischer) and his grandson who looks up to him. Ben can't seem to stay faithful to the same woman, as he sleeps with the 18-year old daughter (Imogen Poots) of his girlfriend (Mary-Louise Parker). His high-profile crimes prevent him from finding a job, so he spends some time with an old college pal (Danny DeVito) after exhausting his possibilities in the city to try to get his life together.
"Solitary Man" is a downbeat but engrossing drama, superbly crafted and showcasing an excellent performance from Douglas. Douglas has been doing mainstream films for so long that people forget that he won an Oscar in 1987 for playing Gordon Gekko in "Wall Street," one of the most hated characters in movie history (and he returns in a sequel this fall). Douglas' Ben Kalmen isn't as bad as Gekko, but not by much, though Kalmen's biggest crime is his character flaws he won't admit to. Everyone seems to see it but him and continues to make bad decision after bad decision.
The film, written and directed by Brian Koppelman, is an interesting look at a flawed, very selfish character who's old enough to know better. This film provides a meaty role for Douglas, but he's well-supported by Sarandon, DeVito (if you remember, his buddy from "Romancing the Stone"), Parker and particularly Fischer, as the responsible daughter fed up with her Dad's bad decisions and refusal to get help. A couple of subplots and characters are unnecessary and advance the film very little, including the college kid (Jesse Eisenberg) he befriends; his romance with his girlfriend's daughter also comes across as too creepy.
"Solitary Man" is a great character piece filled with many memorable moments (Douglas working in a deli is a treat to watch) and is definitely worth a look. Though it's still very far off, it could also net Douglas his first Oscar nomination in years, something that'd be very well-deserved.
"Solitary Man" an absorbing character-driven drama
If you ever wonder why nice guys often finish last, see the new Michael Douglas film "Solitary Man." His character is one of the most unsympathetic and thoroughly unlikable characters seen on screen in sometime, but Douglas, in one of his best performances in years, infuses the character with an indelible charm that'll have you both hating and loving the guy.
Douglas is Ben Kalmen, a self-absorbed, once-successful and wealthy New York City car magnate who's life has hit the skids due to his shady business dealings and his romantic indiscretions. He's dishonest, unfaithful and hard up for cash. He left his faithful, loving wife Nancy (Susan Sarandon), who's now a successful real estate agent, and he's rarely around for his daughter (Jenna Fischer) and his grandson who looks up to him. Ben can't seem to stay faithful to the same woman, as he sleeps with the 18-year old daughter (Imogen Poots) of his girlfriend (Mary-Louise Parker). His high-profile crimes prevent him from finding a job, so he spends some time with an old college pal (Danny DeVito) after exhausting his possibilities in the city to try to get his life together.
"Solitary Man" is a downbeat but engrossing drama, superbly crafted and showcasing an excellent performance from Douglas. Douglas has been doing mainstream films for so long that people forget that he won an Oscar in 1987 for playing Gordon Gekko in "Wall Street," one of the most hated characters in movie history (and he returns in a sequel this fall). Douglas' Ben Kalmen isn't as bad as Gekko, but not by much, though Kalmen's biggest crime is his character flaws he won't admit to. Everyone seems to see it but him and continues to make bad decision after bad decision.
The film, written and directed by Brian Koppelman, is an interesting look at a flawed, very selfish character who's old enough to know better. This film provides a meaty role for Douglas, but he's well-supported by Sarandon, DeVito (if you remember, his buddy from "Romancing the Stone"), Parker and particularly Fischer, as the responsible daughter fed up with her Dad's bad decisions and refusal to get help. A couple of subplots and characters are unnecessary and advance the film very little, including the college kid (Jesse Eisenberg) he befriends; his romance with his girlfriend's daughter also comes across as too creepy.
"Solitary Man" is a great character piece filled with many memorable moments (Douglas working in a deli is a treat to watch) and is definitely worth a look. Though it's still very far off, it could also net Douglas his first Oscar nomination in years, something that'd be very well-deserved.
Marmaduke - C
Rated PG for some rude humor and language, 87 minutes
"Marmaduke": Easy, dull laughs for the whole family
I grew up on the "Marmaduke" comic strip and always enjoyed the adventures of the giant Dane and his family the Winslows, who didn't quite know what to do with him. I'm not so sure that Great Danes are so greatly entertaining, though, which may explain the reason for another talking animal movie. Banal but energetic, "Marmaduke" moves in such a breezy manner, you may forget the movie is as bad as Marmaduke's breath.
The film is filled with voices you may know (Owen Wilson, Kiefer Sutherland, George Lopez), ones you may have difficulty recognizing (is that really Fergie as a collie?) and jokes you've seen a thousand times before. "Marmaduke" the film bears little resemblance to the far funnier comic strip, and it follows the Winslows (decent actors Lee Pace and Judy Greer, totally wasted here) as they trek from their native Kansas to California. In tow are their kids and animals, including Marmaduke (voiced with lazy appeal by Wilson) and their cat Carlos (Lopez). Everyone has difficulty fitting in, including the kids and the animals, who must deal with some "pedigreed" animals (Sutherland, Fergie) who look down the mutts.
A few fun moments and a predictable, heartwarming premise highlight "Marmaduke," an otherwise forgettable experience that only the younger ones will really enjoy. Marmaduke has a party, gets into trouble with the family and the other dogs trying to fit in and gets trapped in the film's climax. I can bet you $10 that you can guess what happens, and you didn't have to suffer, I mean, sit through this film.
The film does essentially the same thing as the similarly themed and equally dreadful "Garfield": add a well-known voice of a charming comic actor (Bill Murray was Garfield, Wilson, with lazy appeal, does the honors here). Based on the appeal of Wilson alone, the film will likely be a modest hit with families looking for family entertainment. But even family entertainment should be good, after all, even young ones can smell poo. On that note, go if you must, but it won't be pleasant.
"Marmaduke": Easy, dull laughs for the whole family
I grew up on the "Marmaduke" comic strip and always enjoyed the adventures of the giant Dane and his family the Winslows, who didn't quite know what to do with him. I'm not so sure that Great Danes are so greatly entertaining, though, which may explain the reason for another talking animal movie. Banal but energetic, "Marmaduke" moves in such a breezy manner, you may forget the movie is as bad as Marmaduke's breath.
The film is filled with voices you may know (Owen Wilson, Kiefer Sutherland, George Lopez), ones you may have difficulty recognizing (is that really Fergie as a collie?) and jokes you've seen a thousand times before. "Marmaduke" the film bears little resemblance to the far funnier comic strip, and it follows the Winslows (decent actors Lee Pace and Judy Greer, totally wasted here) as they trek from their native Kansas to California. In tow are their kids and animals, including Marmaduke (voiced with lazy appeal by Wilson) and their cat Carlos (Lopez). Everyone has difficulty fitting in, including the kids and the animals, who must deal with some "pedigreed" animals (Sutherland, Fergie) who look down the mutts.
A few fun moments and a predictable, heartwarming premise highlight "Marmaduke," an otherwise forgettable experience that only the younger ones will really enjoy. Marmaduke has a party, gets into trouble with the family and the other dogs trying to fit in and gets trapped in the film's climax. I can bet you $10 that you can guess what happens, and you didn't have to suffer, I mean, sit through this film.
The film does essentially the same thing as the similarly themed and equally dreadful "Garfield": add a well-known voice of a charming comic actor (Bill Murray was Garfield, Wilson, with lazy appeal, does the honors here). Based on the appeal of Wilson alone, the film will likely be a modest hit with families looking for family entertainment. But even family entertainment should be good, after all, even young ones can smell poo. On that note, go if you must, but it won't be pleasant.
Splice - B
Rated R for disturbing elements including strong sexuality, nudity, sci-fi violence and language, 104 minutes
"Splice" is scary, unpredictable and unsettling fun
"Splice" may surprise you in more ways than one. The horror film wants to raise some tricky moral and ethical questions about science and DNA, but really it's a decent, scary film with a handful of nice jumps and some excellent special effects.
The Canadian production from "Cube" director Vincenzo Natali and starring fellow Canadian Sarah Polley and Oscar-winner Adrien Brody, it's about a pair of scientists Elsa and Clive (Polley and Brody) who are experimenting with splicing human and animal DNA. By accident they create an unusual creature they call "Dren" who appears to be a human female but also has animal characteristics such as wings and the ability to hunt down and eat their prey, in case humans. As Dren grows at a fantastic rate, they realize the danger of their experiment and that they shouldn't have played Mother Nature.
A fantastic, intelligent horror film that's well-acted, well-written and well-paced. It's a little heavy-handed at times and the second act in particular is heavily flawed, but as a scary, jumpy horror film it works very nicely. The special effects are first-rate, scary and add more to the film than you might think. The first half is by far the better part and conjurs up memories of that nasty creature from "Alien," except this one has the ability to communicate.
The finale, like much of the film, is meant to shock and in many ways it does. It blurrs the line between reality and science-fiction, but still entertains along the way. Polley and Brody make for a good team and director and writer Natali has crafted a horror film that's just as disturbing as say, "Rosemary's Baby." Entertaining, unsettling, "Splice" succeeds most in its disquieting tone. Definitely recommended for horror enthusiasts.
"Splice" is scary, unpredictable and unsettling fun
"Splice" may surprise you in more ways than one. The horror film wants to raise some tricky moral and ethical questions about science and DNA, but really it's a decent, scary film with a handful of nice jumps and some excellent special effects.
The Canadian production from "Cube" director Vincenzo Natali and starring fellow Canadian Sarah Polley and Oscar-winner Adrien Brody, it's about a pair of scientists Elsa and Clive (Polley and Brody) who are experimenting with splicing human and animal DNA. By accident they create an unusual creature they call "Dren" who appears to be a human female but also has animal characteristics such as wings and the ability to hunt down and eat their prey, in case humans. As Dren grows at a fantastic rate, they realize the danger of their experiment and that they shouldn't have played Mother Nature.
A fantastic, intelligent horror film that's well-acted, well-written and well-paced. It's a little heavy-handed at times and the second act in particular is heavily flawed, but as a scary, jumpy horror film it works very nicely. The special effects are first-rate, scary and add more to the film than you might think. The first half is by far the better part and conjurs up memories of that nasty creature from "Alien," except this one has the ability to communicate.
The finale, like much of the film, is meant to shock and in many ways it does. It blurrs the line between reality and science-fiction, but still entertains along the way. Polley and Brody make for a good team and director and writer Natali has crafted a horror film that's just as disturbing as say, "Rosemary's Baby." Entertaining, unsettling, "Splice" succeeds most in its disquieting tone. Definitely recommended for horror enthusiasts.
Get Him to the Greek - B+
Rated R for strong sexual content and drug use throughout, and pervasive language, 109 minutes
It helps that "Greek" is terrifically written and directed by the "Sarah Marshall" team of Jason Segel (better known for the TV show "How I Met Your Mother") and Nicholas Stoller, who handled the film with fun energy and pop. Watch for some delicious cameos from a slew of rock/pop stars, including Katy Perry, Christina Aguilera to Pink, as well as a one with Sarah Marshall herself (Kristen Bell).
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