Rated PG for some rude humor, mild language and brief smoking, 90 minutes
"Furry Vengeance" is like a skunk, it stinks
While I believe in the humane treatment of animals, I've never been mistaken for a PETA activist either. The dreadful new animals vs. humans comedy "Furry Vengeance" will give you a reason to hunt down not only the annoying animals in this movie, but you may want to hunt down the producers of the movie too. This woeful, mean-spirited family film is like an environmentally-conscious remake of "Home Alone," minus John Hughes, Macaulay Culkin and any laughs.
Brendan Fraser is Dan Sanders. Dan works for a big supposedly "green" corporation who wants to turn the forest into a sprawling development of new homes. Dan has relocated his smart teacher-wife Tammy (Brooke Shields) and his cynical teenage son Tyler (Matt Prokop) with him as he oversees the project. His scheming boss (Ken Jeong) and his nosy assistant (Angela Kinsey) have other bigger plans to mow down the forest and all the cute animals living there. The animals are smarter than you think, and have their own plans for Dan and his family and turn into a battle of epic proportions.
"Furry Vengeance" is a broad hokey comedic mess and an environmentally-conscious disaster of a movie, wasting a talented cast with its one-joke premise. Fraser is, as always, a dork but a game leading man, but his schtick and camera mugging can't even save this. The set-up is simple and obvious and you'll see it coming from a mile away. Skunks spray him more than once, a nasty racoon steals his clothes and a bird does its business on him.
As lovable as the animals seem, it's all rather nasty and mean-spirited in the vein of "Home Alone" with the animals in the Culkin role and Fraser in the Joe Pesci role. And then it tries to tie it all together with some clap trap about the animals protecting their own, which sends mixed signals to young ones; it's OK to seek revenge and do terrible things to people if you have a reason to.
Most of the cast is wasted in "Furry Vengeance," in particular two talented actresses in Shields, who's given very little to do and "The Office's" Kinsey, in a dumb sidekick role. The one brightspot in the cast is Jeong, who gets the most laughs, much as he did in "The Hangover" and "Role Models," even if his role is one big stereotype and he's terribly underused.
Script and direction? Minimal at best and given that the director is Roger Kimble, who helmed the equally awful "College Road Trip" a couple of years ago, that isn't a big surprise. The kiddoes may enjoy this for a bit, but even they may be hard-pressed to remember anything about it, except for the skunks. On that note, "Furry Vengeance" also stinks pretty bad, but it has nothing to do with the skunks. The worst comedy released in the last few months.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
A Nightmare on Elm Street - C
Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, disturbing images, terror and language, 95 minutes
"Nightmare" overly familiar, a mess of cliches
The new horror remake "A Nightmare of Elm Street" will no doubt instill memories with those who enjoyed the iconic original 1984 film, not to mention its six sequels. The unnecessary, mildly entertaining new "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is not near as memorable or fun as the original film, lacking considerable flavor (not to mention superstar Johnny Depp before he came who he was). Though there are a few good jumpy moments, this time out Freddy Krueger doesn't pull any big surprises.
Set in present day, this "Nightmare" follows Freddy Krueger (a raspy Jackie Earle Haley) as he stalks the dreams of Nancy (Rooney Mara) and her pals and they soon discover that all of them share a common link to Freddy from their childhood. They were all sexually abused by Freddy and then hunted down and murdered by their vengeful parents. However, Freddy comes back as a supernatural force in their dreams, hunting down and killing the ones who told their parents, leaving Nancy for last.
Michael Bay remakes "A Nightmare on Elm Street" to expose younger audiences to Freddy Krueger, much like he successfully did with "Friday the 13th" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." He's a little more successful here mainly due to the novel storyline and fun character in Freddy. The only thing is, this "Nightmare" isn't as amusing, interesting or memorable as the first film. The re-imagined "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is entertainingly predictable, empty and lacking a fresh vibe.
That's not to say you won't jump, you will many times and those long metal fingers look pretty nasty but maybe it has to do with Freddy himself. Robert Englund, who played the original Freddy, camped it up more and had a nice sarcastic tone, and while the new Freddy, played by Haley, is OK, he takes things too seriously, speaking in a deep, gravely voice and making pithy, stilted comments to the victims. The dream sequences are bloody, remarkably brief and predictably awkward (you always have a sense of what - and who - is coming).
The new "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is modestly enjoyable enough to be a hit and likely restart this franchise all over again. As Freddy himself would say, what goes around comes around. But you've been down this street before, is it really necessary to go down it again?
"Nightmare" overly familiar, a mess of cliches
The new horror remake "A Nightmare of Elm Street" will no doubt instill memories with those who enjoyed the iconic original 1984 film, not to mention its six sequels. The unnecessary, mildly entertaining new "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is not near as memorable or fun as the original film, lacking considerable flavor (not to mention superstar Johnny Depp before he came who he was). Though there are a few good jumpy moments, this time out Freddy Krueger doesn't pull any big surprises.
Set in present day, this "Nightmare" follows Freddy Krueger (a raspy Jackie Earle Haley) as he stalks the dreams of Nancy (Rooney Mara) and her pals and they soon discover that all of them share a common link to Freddy from their childhood. They were all sexually abused by Freddy and then hunted down and murdered by their vengeful parents. However, Freddy comes back as a supernatural force in their dreams, hunting down and killing the ones who told their parents, leaving Nancy for last.
Michael Bay remakes "A Nightmare on Elm Street" to expose younger audiences to Freddy Krueger, much like he successfully did with "Friday the 13th" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." He's a little more successful here mainly due to the novel storyline and fun character in Freddy. The only thing is, this "Nightmare" isn't as amusing, interesting or memorable as the first film. The re-imagined "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is entertainingly predictable, empty and lacking a fresh vibe.
That's not to say you won't jump, you will many times and those long metal fingers look pretty nasty but maybe it has to do with Freddy himself. Robert Englund, who played the original Freddy, camped it up more and had a nice sarcastic tone, and while the new Freddy, played by Haley, is OK, he takes things too seriously, speaking in a deep, gravely voice and making pithy, stilted comments to the victims. The dream sequences are bloody, remarkably brief and predictably awkward (you always have a sense of what - and who - is coming).
The new "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is modestly enjoyable enough to be a hit and likely restart this franchise all over again. As Freddy himself would say, what goes around comes around. But you've been down this street before, is it really necessary to go down it again?
The Joneses - C+
Rated R for language, some sexual content, teen drinking and drug use, 96 minutes
"The Joneses": original premise, unsatisfying execution
"The Joneses" is one of the most original films I've seen this year and could easily be the basis of a TV series on Showtime or HBO. It has a lovely cast, some cool products (and one amazing Audi sportscar) and a flat, predictable story that will leave you unsatisfied in the end. Mildly enjoyable but largely vacuous, you may not want to keep up with these Joneses.
Kate (Demi Moore) and Steve (David Duchovny) head a picture-perfect family that also includes Jenn (Amber Heard) and Mick (Ben Hollingsworth). They move into a luxurious new home in the suburbs, across the street from Summer (Glenne Headly) and Larry (Gary Cole), a nice but insecure couple. Kate and Steve have all the latest toys, gadgets and products that have them the envy of the neighborhood and their schools. Except that is the job that Kate and Steve have with their fake "family" unit. They really work for a marketing company designed to introduce luxury products to neighborhoods across the U.S., using undercover marketing techniques. Things go awry when the truth behind their presence is slowly unraveled.
"The Joneses" is a novel, even engaging premise that works best in its initial chapters. The job these Joneses have is a cross between multi-level marketing at its worst with some witness protection program thrown in for good measure. It works well initially because these unsympathetically drawn characters know who know their job: salesperson. I liked especially that it is Moore who is the "boss" and Duchovny who reports to her, not to mention that they don't even know each other's last names.
But "The Joneses" loses steam midway through when the characters start caring more about each other than their real purpose, and things turn much too predictable (Duchovny's character in particular is too much of a softy). A couple of badly integrated subplots involving the two children don't work, either, in particular the one with Heard. Moore and Duchovny both give serviceable performances, and watch for Lauren Hutton in a small role as their overly ambitious boss. Hutton has never been a strong actress, but she's fun to watch, and also proves she's one of cinema's prettiest ugly women (a title she shares with Jamie Lee Curtis).
In the end, keeping up with these Joneses proves too unsatisfying, and it left me with little in spite of a different premise that's likely better suited for the small screen. Filled with loads of nifty gadgets, products and lovely people, "The Joneses" is all style and little depth.
"The Joneses": original premise, unsatisfying execution
"The Joneses" is one of the most original films I've seen this year and could easily be the basis of a TV series on Showtime or HBO. It has a lovely cast, some cool products (and one amazing Audi sportscar) and a flat, predictable story that will leave you unsatisfied in the end. Mildly enjoyable but largely vacuous, you may not want to keep up with these Joneses.
Kate (Demi Moore) and Steve (David Duchovny) head a picture-perfect family that also includes Jenn (Amber Heard) and Mick (Ben Hollingsworth). They move into a luxurious new home in the suburbs, across the street from Summer (Glenne Headly) and Larry (Gary Cole), a nice but insecure couple. Kate and Steve have all the latest toys, gadgets and products that have them the envy of the neighborhood and their schools. Except that is the job that Kate and Steve have with their fake "family" unit. They really work for a marketing company designed to introduce luxury products to neighborhoods across the U.S., using undercover marketing techniques. Things go awry when the truth behind their presence is slowly unraveled.
"The Joneses" is a novel, even engaging premise that works best in its initial chapters. The job these Joneses have is a cross between multi-level marketing at its worst with some witness protection program thrown in for good measure. It works well initially because these unsympathetically drawn characters know who know their job: salesperson. I liked especially that it is Moore who is the "boss" and Duchovny who reports to her, not to mention that they don't even know each other's last names.
But "The Joneses" loses steam midway through when the characters start caring more about each other than their real purpose, and things turn much too predictable (Duchovny's character in particular is too much of a softy). A couple of badly integrated subplots involving the two children don't work, either, in particular the one with Heard. Moore and Duchovny both give serviceable performances, and watch for Lauren Hutton in a small role as their overly ambitious boss. Hutton has never been a strong actress, but she's fun to watch, and also proves she's one of cinema's prettiest ugly women (a title she shares with Jamie Lee Curtis).
In the end, keeping up with these Joneses proves too unsatisfying, and it left me with little in spite of a different premise that's likely better suited for the small screen. Filled with loads of nifty gadgets, products and lovely people, "The Joneses" is all style and little depth.
La Mission - B
Rated R for language, some violence and sexual content, 117 minutes
Affecting Latino drama in "La Mission"
"La Mission" is a bueno drama with a Latin flavor set against the backdrop of the Mission neighborhood of San Francisco. Leisurely, talky but well-acted, it's addresses some tough but modern issues in the Latino community, but ones that we can all relate to. The independently-produced drama is a solid effort that stars "Law & Order's" Benjamin Bratt and some sweet low rider cars.
Bratt is Che Rivera (not to be confused with the Argentine activist leader Che Guevara), a San Francisco bus driver with a past and trying to move forward. A recovering alcoholic and reformed inmate, he's also a widower and single parent to Jesse (Jeremy Ray Valdez), a bright teenager who's close to his dad. Known in his barrio for his strength and masculinity, he's also well-liked and enjoys playing hoops and his favorite hobby, rebuilding low rider cars. But his character stands a huge test when he finds out that Jes is gay and he must embrace another side of his masculinity that will complete him as a man.
"La Mission" is an involving dramatic look at the complexities of modern Latino life. The low-budget film has been playing to decent reviews on the festival circuit and is a Bratt family affair. Bratt stars and co-produces, his older brother Peter directs and writes the film and Benjamin's wife Talisa Soto also has a small role in the film.
Bratt, as the hardened and hard-working man faced with new issues, ably carries the film in a different role for him, in a character who's required to change to move forward with his life. Valdez also has a couple of touching moments as the young man coming to terms with his sexuality. The lovely TV actress Erika Alexander also exudes warmth as an independent-minded woman who moves into the same building as Che and attracts his attention.
"La Mission" is a watchable, admirable film whose main focus is that of acceptance and growth of those in a different lifestyle. It sags a little in the mid-section and Peter Bratt's direction is a little heavy-handed at times, but in the end it fulfills it's purpose on a satisfying note. And there's some beautiful low-rider cars prominently featured in the film, and those familiar with the San Francisco area will note the Bay Area locals.
"La Mission" is an enjoyable film with some honorable messages mixed in with a little Latino flavor for good measure, and it's worth a look.
Affecting Latino drama in "La Mission"
"La Mission" is a bueno drama with a Latin flavor set against the backdrop of the Mission neighborhood of San Francisco. Leisurely, talky but well-acted, it's addresses some tough but modern issues in the Latino community, but ones that we can all relate to. The independently-produced drama is a solid effort that stars "Law & Order's" Benjamin Bratt and some sweet low rider cars.
Bratt is Che Rivera (not to be confused with the Argentine activist leader Che Guevara), a San Francisco bus driver with a past and trying to move forward. A recovering alcoholic and reformed inmate, he's also a widower and single parent to Jesse (Jeremy Ray Valdez), a bright teenager who's close to his dad. Known in his barrio for his strength and masculinity, he's also well-liked and enjoys playing hoops and his favorite hobby, rebuilding low rider cars. But his character stands a huge test when he finds out that Jes is gay and he must embrace another side of his masculinity that will complete him as a man.
"La Mission" is an involving dramatic look at the complexities of modern Latino life. The low-budget film has been playing to decent reviews on the festival circuit and is a Bratt family affair. Bratt stars and co-produces, his older brother Peter directs and writes the film and Benjamin's wife Talisa Soto also has a small role in the film.
Bratt, as the hardened and hard-working man faced with new issues, ably carries the film in a different role for him, in a character who's required to change to move forward with his life. Valdez also has a couple of touching moments as the young man coming to terms with his sexuality. The lovely TV actress Erika Alexander also exudes warmth as an independent-minded woman who moves into the same building as Che and attracts his attention.
"La Mission" is a watchable, admirable film whose main focus is that of acceptance and growth of those in a different lifestyle. It sags a little in the mid-section and Peter Bratt's direction is a little heavy-handed at times, but in the end it fulfills it's purpose on a satisfying note. And there's some beautiful low-rider cars prominently featured in the film, and those familiar with the San Francisco area will note the Bay Area locals.
"La Mission" is an enjoyable film with some honorable messages mixed in with a little Latino flavor for good measure, and it's worth a look.
Friday, April 23, 2010
The Secret of Kells - B-
Unrated, 75 minutes
Animated and suitable for all ages
Intriguing, unique animated feature "Secret of Kells"
"The Secret of Kells" is an Irish-French-Belgian animated feature that was recently nominated for the Best Animated Feature Oscar (and surprisingly so, over many other well-known films) and the intriguing story, set in the 9th century, is intriguing in that its hand drawn, a rarity in animation these days. Colorful, leisurely and talky, its unique story will appeal more to animation enthusiasts than to children, who may be a bit bored a few minutes in.
Irish animator Tomm Moore, who created his own animation studio, Cartoon Saloon, directs and writes his first feature film, about a young medieval boy in the 9th century named Brendan (Evan McGuire), who is being apprenticed by his uncle Abbot Cellach (Brendan Gleeson, the only name actor and recognizable voice here) in the art of illuminating and writing a book that will help protect their town, Abbey of Kells, from some nasty Viking invaders. But a new life of adventure beckons when a celebrated master illuminator named Aidan (Mick Lally) arrives from foreign lands carrying an ancient but unfinished book, brimming with secret wisdom and powers. To help complete the magical book, Brendan has to overcome his deepest fears on a dangerous quest that takes him into the enchanted forest where mythical creatures hide.
'The Secret of Kells" is a unique, intelligent and enchanting animated adventure that may not carry mass appeal but is worthy to be seen, particularly for those with an interest in animation. Moore's hand drawn characters are colorful in a washed-out way, unlike the bold hues of the CG Pixar features. The film lacks energy to keep the young ones truly interested, and there are a couple of intense scenes involving battles with the Vikings that may scare some of the younger ones.
"The Secret of Kells," as inimitable as it often is, was a surprise nominee among the Best Animated films at the Oscars recently, as it was selected over many other mainstream and far more widely-seen nominees such as "Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs." Still, it's an alluring, enjoyable journey (and at 75 minutes, a short one), suitable for the whole family and worth a view.
Animated and suitable for all ages
Intriguing, unique animated feature "Secret of Kells"
"The Secret of Kells" is an Irish-French-Belgian animated feature that was recently nominated for the Best Animated Feature Oscar (and surprisingly so, over many other well-known films) and the intriguing story, set in the 9th century, is intriguing in that its hand drawn, a rarity in animation these days. Colorful, leisurely and talky, its unique story will appeal more to animation enthusiasts than to children, who may be a bit bored a few minutes in.
Irish animator Tomm Moore, who created his own animation studio, Cartoon Saloon, directs and writes his first feature film, about a young medieval boy in the 9th century named Brendan (Evan McGuire), who is being apprenticed by his uncle Abbot Cellach (Brendan Gleeson, the only name actor and recognizable voice here) in the art of illuminating and writing a book that will help protect their town, Abbey of Kells, from some nasty Viking invaders. But a new life of adventure beckons when a celebrated master illuminator named Aidan (Mick Lally) arrives from foreign lands carrying an ancient but unfinished book, brimming with secret wisdom and powers. To help complete the magical book, Brendan has to overcome his deepest fears on a dangerous quest that takes him into the enchanted forest where mythical creatures hide.
'The Secret of Kells" is a unique, intelligent and enchanting animated adventure that may not carry mass appeal but is worthy to be seen, particularly for those with an interest in animation. Moore's hand drawn characters are colorful in a washed-out way, unlike the bold hues of the CG Pixar features. The film lacks energy to keep the young ones truly interested, and there are a couple of intense scenes involving battles with the Vikings that may scare some of the younger ones.
"The Secret of Kells," as inimitable as it often is, was a surprise nominee among the Best Animated films at the Oscars recently, as it was selected over many other mainstream and far more widely-seen nominees such as "Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs." Still, it's an alluring, enjoyable journey (and at 75 minutes, a short one), suitable for the whole family and worth a view.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Perfect Game - B
Rated PG for some thematic elements
Predictable but uplifting, "The Perfect Game" is family fun
You've probably seen "The Perfect Game" in countless other sports and/or family films. Underdog comes from behind to win big. That's the exact them of the calculated but inspiring new family film "The Perfect Game," which tells of a Mexican little league team that literally came from nowhere to win the Little League World Series. Starring a group of unknowns and a handful of character actors, there's some solid, decent messages that make the film a winner: that hard work and perseverance actually do pay off in the end.
Clifton Collins Jr. is Cesar Faz, a St. Louis Cardinal assistant coach who's laid off and has to return to his native Monterrey, Mexico for work in 1956. With the help of the local priest (Cheech Marin), he organizes a little league team, Monterrey's first, for some of the local boys who need an outlet for their time and energies. Before long, the boys become good and start winning games and find themselves all the way at the 1957 Little League World Series against a much larger American team. With everything going against them, they seemingly don't stand a chance, but with their families, their town and their country behind, they seem destined for bigger things.
"The Perfect Game" is a winning film that'll have you cheering the Monterrey team that became known as "Los pequeños gigantes" for becoming not only the first foreign team to win the Little League World Series, they did it with force, winning a "perfect" game (the only perfect game in that series' history) with the help of their ace pitcher Angel Macias (played by "Wizards of Waverly Place" actor Jake T. Austin). You know exactly what will happen and the underdog story has been told numerous times before, but you'll be cheering for the winning team.
It's a little baffling that Lionsgate has had the film sitting on the shelf for a couple of years, claiming marketing and financial difficulties, after all this is a great and worthy family film to be seen. Character actor Collins, usually seen in edgier roles like in "Brothers" or "Extract" carries the film in a gruff performance, and watch for cameos from other well-known actors such as Bruce McGill and Lou Gossett Jr. (as real-life baseball legend Cool Papa Bell), but it's the young boys playing the Monterrey team, including Austin and "Hannah Montana's" Moises Arias, who have the film's more memorable moments.
Stay with it until the end, and you'll be uplifted, encouraged and inspired. "The Perfect Game" isn't a perfect film by any means (including a saggy mid-section and it's a tad too long) but it is a perfectly suitable family outing at the movies, which can't always be said these days.
Predictable but uplifting, "The Perfect Game" is family fun
You've probably seen "The Perfect Game" in countless other sports and/or family films. Underdog comes from behind to win big. That's the exact them of the calculated but inspiring new family film "The Perfect Game," which tells of a Mexican little league team that literally came from nowhere to win the Little League World Series. Starring a group of unknowns and a handful of character actors, there's some solid, decent messages that make the film a winner: that hard work and perseverance actually do pay off in the end.
Clifton Collins Jr. is Cesar Faz, a St. Louis Cardinal assistant coach who's laid off and has to return to his native Monterrey, Mexico for work in 1956. With the help of the local priest (Cheech Marin), he organizes a little league team, Monterrey's first, for some of the local boys who need an outlet for their time and energies. Before long, the boys become good and start winning games and find themselves all the way at the 1957 Little League World Series against a much larger American team. With everything going against them, they seemingly don't stand a chance, but with their families, their town and their country behind, they seem destined for bigger things.
"The Perfect Game" is a winning film that'll have you cheering the Monterrey team that became known as "Los pequeños gigantes" for becoming not only the first foreign team to win the Little League World Series, they did it with force, winning a "perfect" game (the only perfect game in that series' history) with the help of their ace pitcher Angel Macias (played by "Wizards of Waverly Place" actor Jake T. Austin). You know exactly what will happen and the underdog story has been told numerous times before, but you'll be cheering for the winning team.
It's a little baffling that Lionsgate has had the film sitting on the shelf for a couple of years, claiming marketing and financial difficulties, after all this is a great and worthy family film to be seen. Character actor Collins, usually seen in edgier roles like in "Brothers" or "Extract" carries the film in a gruff performance, and watch for cameos from other well-known actors such as Bruce McGill and Lou Gossett Jr. (as real-life baseball legend Cool Papa Bell), but it's the young boys playing the Monterrey team, including Austin and "Hannah Montana's" Moises Arias, who have the film's more memorable moments.
Stay with it until the end, and you'll be uplifted, encouraged and inspired. "The Perfect Game" isn't a perfect film by any means (including a saggy mid-section and it's a tad too long) but it is a perfectly suitable family outing at the movies, which can't always be said these days.
The Back-up Plan - D
Rated PG-13 for sexual content including references, some crude material and language, 102 minutes
Lopez drops her baby movie bomb with "The Back-Up Plan"
If considering seeing the new Jennifer Lopez movie "The Back-Up Plan" you better have a good plan B in place, as in seeing another movie. Although I've never given birth before, I have no doubt that watching this movie is nearly as painful as childbirth itself. No pun intended, but "The Back-Up Plan" is a labored, badly executed and just plain sorry excuse for a romantic comedy. Those heralding Lopez's return to the big screen after 3 years will be greatly disappointed.
Successful entrepreneur Zoe (Lopez) approaching middle-age and still single and childless. With her biological time clock clicking faster and faster every day, she decides to go it alone and become artificially impregnated. On that very day, she meets Stan (Alex O'Loughlin), who becomes her soulmate. Though Stan is committed to stay and help Zoe with her children, she's still afraid he'll leave at any moment, though in the process she realizes she may be the one with commitment issues.
"The Back-Up Plan" is a dreadful, icky and woefully unfunny and boring romantic comedy that is sparse in both laughs and chemistry between the handsome leads. Lopez only proves that she's not an actress, but a likable performer who shows up in movies from time to time. Her vacuous expressions and lack of depth as an actress prove she needs a superior script and careful direction to excel, neither of which happens here. And poor handsome O'Loughlin, a decent actor who's had unfortunate luck lately, especially after his failed attempts on TV ("Moonlight" and "Three Rivers"). His character is also the most miswritten; he states he's cynical toward love but aggressively (and in a somewhat creepy way) pursues Lopez's character.
Without a few nice (but too brief) comic bits from Anthony Anderson ("Law & Order") and "Saturday Night Live" alum Michaela Watkins, this would be completely unwatchable. Also, watch for TV veterans Linda Lavin ("Alice") and "Happy Days" Tom Bosley (who either looks awful in real life or received a bad makeup job) in small roles. Zoe's venture to a single mom's support group is not only unnecessary it's terribly unfunny, and a related birthing scene involving the group (and thankfully, it's not Lopez's birthing scene) is just plain creepy.
Lopez is a genuinely likable performer, and she's been everywhere lately, from George Lopez's talk show to "Saturday Night Live" to "How I Met Your Mother," in hopes of giving the film some good publicity. But there's nothing that can help the train wreck that is "The Back-Up Plan" and unless you're really a devoted, loyal Lopez fan, stay far away from this. Lopez should get her acceptance speech ready for the "Worst Actress" Razzie Award.
Lopez drops her baby movie bomb with "The Back-Up Plan"
If considering seeing the new Jennifer Lopez movie "The Back-Up Plan" you better have a good plan B in place, as in seeing another movie. Although I've never given birth before, I have no doubt that watching this movie is nearly as painful as childbirth itself. No pun intended, but "The Back-Up Plan" is a labored, badly executed and just plain sorry excuse for a romantic comedy. Those heralding Lopez's return to the big screen after 3 years will be greatly disappointed.
Successful entrepreneur Zoe (Lopez) approaching middle-age and still single and childless. With her biological time clock clicking faster and faster every day, she decides to go it alone and become artificially impregnated. On that very day, she meets Stan (Alex O'Loughlin), who becomes her soulmate. Though Stan is committed to stay and help Zoe with her children, she's still afraid he'll leave at any moment, though in the process she realizes she may be the one with commitment issues.
"The Back-Up Plan" is a dreadful, icky and woefully unfunny and boring romantic comedy that is sparse in both laughs and chemistry between the handsome leads. Lopez only proves that she's not an actress, but a likable performer who shows up in movies from time to time. Her vacuous expressions and lack of depth as an actress prove she needs a superior script and careful direction to excel, neither of which happens here. And poor handsome O'Loughlin, a decent actor who's had unfortunate luck lately, especially after his failed attempts on TV ("Moonlight" and "Three Rivers"). His character is also the most miswritten; he states he's cynical toward love but aggressively (and in a somewhat creepy way) pursues Lopez's character.
Without a few nice (but too brief) comic bits from Anthony Anderson ("Law & Order") and "Saturday Night Live" alum Michaela Watkins, this would be completely unwatchable. Also, watch for TV veterans Linda Lavin ("Alice") and "Happy Days" Tom Bosley (who either looks awful in real life or received a bad makeup job) in small roles. Zoe's venture to a single mom's support group is not only unnecessary it's terribly unfunny, and a related birthing scene involving the group (and thankfully, it's not Lopez's birthing scene) is just plain creepy.
Lopez is a genuinely likable performer, and she's been everywhere lately, from George Lopez's talk show to "Saturday Night Live" to "How I Met Your Mother," in hopes of giving the film some good publicity. But there's nothing that can help the train wreck that is "The Back-Up Plan" and unless you're really a devoted, loyal Lopez fan, stay far away from this. Lopez should get her acceptance speech ready for the "Worst Actress" Razzie Award.
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