Rated R for graphic brutal horror violence and grisly images throughout, some strong sexuality, graphic nudity and language, 101 minutes
"My Bloody Valentine 3D" - 3 x the dumbness, gore = a mess of a movie
"My Bloody Valentine" is a movie that pleases its fans and makes critics cringe. It's a big, dumb horror flick filled with gratuitous, graphic violence and nudity, and a remake at that (the original 1981 film was far from a classic). Throw in the 3D as a novelty effect along with some handsome young folks running for their lives and you have a hit on your hands. "My Bloody Valentine" no doubt has a few scares in it, but it's otherwise a mess of a movie and a strictly by-the-numbers slasher thriller that's as predictable and unsurprising as the day is long.
In the town of Harmony, West Virginia a crazed miner named Harry Warden kills numerous people on Valentine's Day and is supposedly brought down himself by some locals. A few young teens barely survive the bloodbath, including Tom Hanniger ("Supernatural's" Jensen Ackles, also a Dallas native), whose father owns the mines. He returns on the 10th anniversary of the killings to find his old girlfriend Sarah (Jaime King) married to his old pal Axel (Kerr Smith), now the sheriff of the town. However, someone in a miner's suit goes on another killing spree. Has our old friend Harry returned from the dead or is it a copycat killer?
"My Bloody Valentine" is an extremely graphic, bloody mess of a movie that should please the niche fans of this genre. The movie will do well the first week and should be quickly forgotten after that, until Valentine's Day this year, when Jason makes his return in the remake of the "Friday the 13th" series. The original 1981 film of the same name was a ripoff of both "Friday the 13th" and "Halloween," and this one continues to ripoff those films with a heavy breather in a mask walking around with a big weapon.
The young, handsome third-rate TV actors run for their lives, but if you watch closely enough, the ridiculous ending (or the killer) won't come as any surprise. There are a few good jumpy scares but that doesn't add up to a great movie, nor does it make it any better by adding the novelty of the 3D effect, though that big ax the killer wields comes at you pretty quickly, as does loads and loads of blood and gore.
Director Patrick Lussier and co-writers Zane Smith and Todd Farmer have worked on loads of other horror films before, and they all seem to be in their element here fashioning some nifty horror scenes, though as typical with slasher films things like acting, characterization and intelligence (let's go into the mine at night to see what we can find - not a good idea) all seem to be thrown out the window. One scene even features a female character running for her life completely naked, no doubt pleasing the mostly younger male audience members that horror films tend to skewer.
It won't come as any surprise for me to tell you "My Bloody Valentine 3D" is a horrible movie and is in no way recommended, but those that go to these things don't listen to critics anyway and it will still be the first big moneymaker of the season.
